the hill.

i don't understand why it's SO fucking hard for someone to love someone else ALL THE TIME.

what's the point of hurting me for no reason?

for leaving me?

auld lang syne.

i am quite fully convinced that no one, no one, will ever love me as much as I love them.

people don't know what love is.

they just don't.

if someone says they do, they're lying.

i am so hopelessly in love, again.

with a girl this time.

Nichole.

i'm so in love i can't breathe.

well.

haven't blogged in a hot minute.

lots of shit has been traveling around my mind.

i might just get on here daily and stating my mood.

because it's basically s.s.d.d.

doctor's on monday.

not like a therapist, but like a medical one.

mom wants to get me all checked out to make sure i'm healthy.

blegh.

i fucking hate doctors.

need a job.

need to find happiness.

need to sign up for classes.

need to find a reason to live.

a reason to remind me everyday of why i should be alive.

i can't help but forget.

i was riding around today and this sentence popped into my head.

i'm constantly thinking of different ways to start a book.

cause you know the first sentence is the most important.

i don't really know if this would make for a good starter, but it just popped into my head.

i'm just a fucked up little girl on a constant search for a reason to live.